i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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