Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
