I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
