If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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