i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
