summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Damn victory sex feels great
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
