I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
