Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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