i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
