there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
