Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
