I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
