I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
