Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
