Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
