I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
