We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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