Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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