I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
