I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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