my shit smells like andre
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
They have beer where we have blood.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
