You just made me feel so damn special
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
