I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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