Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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