ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
