She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
