what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize