Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
