Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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