i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
