Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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