In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
