Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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