Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
