So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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