Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
