if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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