i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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