A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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