I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
