Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
