So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
