peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
