who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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