I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Duck Duck Cougar?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
