Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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