put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
