happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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