I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
