Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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