Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
