what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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