It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
