the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
